Signs you might be dating a psycho

Here are some signs that might indicate that you are dating a psychopath. 1. You feel like you are going crazy. Psycho’s are masters of manipulation. They turn everything around. They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might become paranoid. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. If you are a peaceful person, you might find yourself constantly fighting. You might explode when you get too frustrated. You feel like there is something seriously wrong with you. 2. You feel like you are walking on eggshells. You’re not quite sure what will set them off, but you are afraid that something you do is going to make them lose their temper…  Bump into an old boyfriend at the mall? Get a job offer in another state? Agree to babysit for your sister? You might be terrified of what your partner will say or do if you tell them. 3. You feel like you are dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It seems like your partner is two completely different people. Like flipping a switch, they can change drastically from one extreme to the next. One day, they are caring and loving and wonderful, and the next they are hateful and raging and mean. They used to put you up on a pedestal…and now all they does is try to tear you down. 4. You feel like you have no voice. You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you...

11 things that can help you recover from abuse

“I am bigger than anything that can happen to me. All these things: sorrow, misfortune, and suffering, are outside my door. I am inside the house, and I have the key.” – Charles Fletcher Lummis Speak. Shame feeds on silence. Talking about that abuse might seem like the last thing you want to do, but speaking out about what happened to you and letting other people in takes away the power of the depression and the shame and gives that power back to you. Don’t know who to talk to? Confide in a parent or a friend, a coach, a guidance counselor, a brother or sister, a cousin, an aunt or uncle, a grandparent, a minister, priest or rabbi. Or, call a hotline, for example: The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, a national 24-hour resource, can be accessed by phone (1-866-331-9474 & 1-866-331-8453 TTY) or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)  Or, visit www.loveisrespect.org to access an online help page. Find a therapist or a support group. Talking to a professional or joining an organized survivor group can be pivotal for some victims. It can help you to understand that what happened to you is not your fault, and that the things you are struggling with are often normal symptoms of abuse.  It is important to find a therapist or group that you feel comfortable with. There are lots of great therapists out there and they can do wonders in your life if you are brave enough to put in the work. Psychology Today has a great source to help find therapists in your area:  http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. Other good resource centers can be found at facilities specialized in...

Should I break up with him? (or her)

“Sometimes things are bad, but are they really bad enough that I should break up with him? Maybe things will get better. Or maybe if I break up with him, then I will regret it and he will never take me back. I don’t know why I feel sad all the time, but I wish that things would just be fun again. I don’t know what to do.” Should I break up with him? Every relationship has ups and downs, but it can be hard sometimes to figure out whether or not you should break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Breaking up is hard. Think about how many songs people have written about a broken heart? Relationships become routine; it’s hard to imagine life without talking to your boyfriend every day. The love you feel can be strong; but sometimes the people who we love let us down. Most of the time things are not black and white. There’s no clear answer as to what we should do; or we know deep down what the answer is, but it’s not one we are ready to see yet or to accept. Reasons To Break Up: •Your boyfriend hits you or hurts you physically in any way. •Your boyfriend makes you feel stupid, fat, ugly or unworthy of anything •He has cheated on you. •He lies to you. •You don’t love him anymore. •You love him, but he hurts you. •He makes you feel like you are crazy. •He threatens to hurt you. •He controls who you hang out with, what you wear, or what you are allowed to do....

The villains no one prepares us for

I Thought You Said The Bad Guys Were Strangers Dressed Up In Dark Clothes? When I was fourteen, I knew what the bad guys looked like. They were the ones in dark clothing, hanging outside gas stations at night or waiting in the woods behind my house for me to go for a run by myself. They had tattoos. They held a cigarette between yellow, rotting teeth. And every once in a while, they cleaned themselves up, put on nice clothes, and pretended to be an overly friendly stranger that tried to tempt kids like me with candy or ice cream or a ride in their windowless van. I knew what they looked like because I paid attention during my sixth grade safety assembly. I watched as the characters, similar to the one described above, performed a skit in the middle of a circle of desks in my classroom. I watched as the bad guys tried to capture an adult woman dressed as a little girl and convince her to do drugs. I watched her save herself by running back to her friends. And I believed what I was told because it was the same version of the world I saw just about everywhere else. The classic villain, drawn with harsh accent and dark colors, and named things like Scar, Professor Snape, Cruela Du Vill; names that literally identified a character as evil. They were obvious, even to a four-year old, no matter how clever their disguise. They were scary, and strong, and sneaky…..but I was prepared for them. What I was not prepared for was the transfiguration of...

“Women secretly want to be raped” and other myths

Debunking 17 Popular Myths About Sexual Assault   1. Men rape women because they are overly aroused sexually or have been sexually deprived. MYTH. Rape is not about sex, it is about power and control. No matter what, sexual contact by force, or without consent, is against the law. No matter what. 2. It is not rape if the victim isn’t a virgin. MYTH. Every person has the right to decide whether or not they want to have sex EVERY time they do it. A person’s past sex life does not matter and is not a factor in deciding whether or not it was rape. Even if two people have had sex before, if one person forces the other person to have sex, it is rape. 3. Acquaintance rapes are not as serious as stranger rapes. MYTH. Any type of rape or sexual assault is serious and has serious effects on a person’s life. Despite the common belief that you can only be raped by a stranger, statistics show that over 80% of rape victims know their abuser. Acquaintance rape sometimes can be even more damaging to a victim’s life because of the betrayal of trust. 4. Women provoke rape by the way they dress. MYTH. Women have a right to wear whatever they want. There is no correlation between what people wear and if they are raped. This is an example of victim blaming. 5. Men cannot be raped. MYTH. Although it is less common, men can also be victims of sexual assault. In fact, 1 in 10 men will experience rape in their lifetime. 6. Women who...