Types of Abusers: The Water Torturer

The Water Torturer Abuser: •Proves that anger doesn’t cause abuse, this type of abuser can assault his partner without ever even raising his voice. •He tends to stay cool and collected during arguments as a weapon to push his partner over the edge. •Uses tools like sarcasm, mockery, even resorting to laughing at her or what she says or making cruel, cutting remarks •Relentless in his quiet derision and meanness  When dating a “Water Torturer,” you tend to do one of two things: either you become frustrated to the point of furiousness, or you begin to feel completely stupid and inferior. You might end up doing things like screaming and yelling because you become so frustrated, storming out of the room, or sinking into silence, leading your partner to make it seem like you are the abusive or crazy one. He might say things to you like “You’re the one screaming and yelling, I’m just talking calmly: you’re the one that is abusive to me. You are impossible to talk to. I didn’t even raise my voice, and look at you!” This type of abuse can be incredibly damaging and can do serious harm to your personal mentality. You feel like you are going crazy or that you are enraged but have no idea really why. You have a hard time reaching out to other people because you don’t even know how to explain what is going on. He seems to know exactly how to get under your skin, and he can even make other people take his side in believing that you are the crazy one and that he just...

Types of Abusers: "Mr. (Always) Right"

The ‘Mr. Right’ abuser:   Considers himself to be the ultimate authority on everything. Always speaks with absolute certainty Brushes your thoughts or opinions aside, finding little to no value in what you have to say Sees things as if he is the teacher and you are the student. His goal is to empty your mind and to fill it with his brilliance. Is often condescending when talking with you When dating a Mr. Right, you feel stupid and like you can’t say anything right. You wish you could explain what you are thinking, but nothing ever comes out right when you try to explain it to him. You  feel confused, unsure of what to think, or unable to make a decision. You feel like he twists around everything that you say, takes it completely out of context, or makes it sound absurd. You feel like you are never really heard, and never taken seriously. Takes on the Voice of Truth as a way of controlling conversations, something abuse counselors call ‘defining reality,’  making what he has to say sound like the only correct answer or outlook. Makes partner doubt their own mental abilities, opinions or intuitions, leaving them feeling like they are dumb or stupid. This way, he can control you better. Takes on the position of the expert even in regards to your life, how you should live it, and what you should do or believe. This includes who you should be friends with, what you should wear, how you should spend your time, how long you should spend studying, what kind of relationship to have with...

Types of Abusers: The Demand Man

The ‘Demand Man’ abuser: is highly entitled expects his partner’s life to revolve around the practice of meeting his needs. can get angry if his demands are not met, and will blame partner/other people if anything gets in the way of his needs. becomes enraged if he isn’t catered to or if he is inconvenienced in any way (even if minor) As his girlfriend, you feel like you can’t do anything right; nothing you do is good enough; and that it is impossible to make him happy. You feel like you are constantly being criticized and that you always ‘should have done things better.’ Specific characteristics of this type of abuser include: Little sense of give and take: The balance between what he wants from you and what he gives back is completely skewed. His demands, from everything to sexual attention to emotional support, far surpass his supply of these behavior. For example: he expects you to drop everything when he is upset about something, but whenever you are upset, he is too busy to talk to you, or makes fun of you for being dramatic;  he expects you to do his homework, cook for him or clean up after him, but gets mad if you ask him to help you with something small; he expects you to perform sexual acts on him whenever he wants, but never pays attention to your needs. Exaggerates or overvalues his own contributions. Although he is constantly taking, and rarely giving, he makes it seem as if it is the other way around; he keeps track of every nice things he does for you (even those that...